Me and Surrealism

Me and Surrealism

I felt a strong pull towards an understanding of the dream like state that an artist or anyone can find themselves in.... After I myself started to suffer panic attacks after the death of people close to me.....I to found myself to be a world unknown to the one I once knew.. Fear of the unknown, death plagued me and took over my mind and the reality of what was real and not became mix of the two.... Heart racing and hands shaking, not being able to breathe and feeling like death was coming, while at the same time knowing that what was happening was just effect and nothing to worry about....to tell yourself your fine while your fear is so high is a very surreal thing to go through.... Not only once but daily for weeks or months.... To feel like your mind isnt your own or your going insane.... spiralling out of control while you try and grab onto hope every chance it appears..... looking and waiting for the light at the end of a tunnel..... an answer!!! questioning everything!! trusting yourself!! acceptance!! reality!!



To be honest looking at some of the images of surrealism it actually makes me feel normal..... To try and understand the nature or idea behind some works does just seem insanity.......

Anticipation of autumn

Soft Construction with Boiled Beans (Premonition of Civil War)

 lol



Picasso girl in the mirror


This picture at the time (9 yrs ago) made an impact on my worrying young self... With the panic attacks new and my lack of understanding I feel this image was how I felt.... On the outside me,  I looked the same happy normal self....strong confident and living... then when looking to my innerself feeling lost stuck fearful and ugly...weak and sad trapped somewhat..my eyes empty and dark lacking life.......

I fell in love with the power that Picasso had over the picture to speak to me on another level but on an understanding also..... Without knowing what Picasso's picture was actually about I found solace in my mind. A new interest was created in myself and I to knew then I wanted to connect with people through my art..