This was a starting point to use words as a way to actually get out how I feel about my state of mind. Who I am and the struggles of late.
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| wax and wool to show a sloppy mess of a mind, nothing making sense |
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| the other side of me, the panic side of being lied to about what is real and what isn't fact in my thoughts |
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| positive thoughts |
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| good day feelings |
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| bad day thoughts and worries |
My thoughts at the time, broken and trying to piece back together a broken self.
I did try and use my feeling to create a place. Bleak and not very exciting, dry and weather beaten.Not the kinda place I find my happiness at in the real world. My head thinks one thing and reality shows another. That is the different, I have to get out of my head and realise the truth of what does actually matter. Silence the false thinking and live in the moment of now.
As I way to do this I have been using mindfulness and meditate. Not to a higher level but the first steps to getting back my mind and focus. I've been robbed into thinking a certain way for too long.
Alan Watts - said that human being should consider two things in they lifetime
- to consider death, to observe skulls and skeletons and to wonder what it'll be like to go to sleep and never wake up! NEVER - THAT IS A VERY GLOOMY THING FOR CONTEMPLATION. But its like manure just as manure fertilizes the plants and so on, so the contemplation of death and acceptance of death is very highly generative of creative life.
- To follow the possibility of the idea that you're totally SELFISH. that you don't have a good thing to be said for you at all, you're a complete and utter rascal. when you go deeply into the nature of selfishness, what do you discover?
- I love myself I seek my own advantage
- Now, what is the self that I love?
- What do I want?
- this becomes an increasingly ever deepening puzzle!
- generation comes from this point
Well I've definitely done the observing death with my skulls and animals
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