lights are on.....but who's home? (e)

Buildings or something..........

Have you ever been driving and arrived at your destination without remembering how you got there as such?

Buildings or something along those lines were the thoughts we were to have when making these reliefs, I say something because my mind was not my own. My mind had been a blur of emotions, questions and disbelief, pain, shock and mind numbing emptyness. 

My aunt is ICU following the cancer treatment and her liver rupture, turns out the chances of her recovering for this is well - now slim very slim :(

So back to buildings  - well I did try and not think of anything and just make shapes, so things we had were card, glue, net, matchsticks, modroc, wool anything to hand really. 

I did some pattern stuff before I started, to which I never looked at again till the end, (see pencil drawing)

I couldnt help but see cells in the cross pieces of the card. 

thinking of the movement of a work without nothing it mind

just sticking whatever came to hand to be honest

what would happen if I stick my hand ??

why not?

Doing colour yesterday I took the thought of being able to make black from 3 colours (magenta, yellow, blue)  I had intended to coat the whole relief grey so I added white. again my mind wasn't really in it so not equal amounts as such. just a dollop of whatever will be...

As u can see the dominant colours seem to be more of the red and blue. I liked the dull sickly colour, yes it felt sickly like - well just my mood. I couldnt help but think now of the link and the part that looked like cells and my sickly colour, so I added an orange colour to show life and strength in the changing cells. The purple/grey mixed with the bright orange and I like the mixture together.

I can imagine cancer to be a strong colour, full of power and matter, thick pumping through the body taken down every spark it passes --------------/\/\/\/\/\/*\/\/\/\/\---------------------- maybe the light orange splats could be the silent killer the big C

Analogous colour here I think purple - orange -red then some blue. tones are dull and I think this makes me question if it is so? Dull tones makes a good sickly feel.......against bright colour of glove

inside the body the tunnels and streams in enters, leaving a sickly sticky passage

My ideas had began, I knew this wasn't what had been asked of me. I was asked not to think, just to do something about buildings!!! but for me this is the building of a picture of whats on my mind, stacking up, wondering, questioning, poisoning my attention. Looking for the sense of what is happening?

The blue for me, is the surgeons gloved hands, the red alarms and blood counts, growths and tears malignant being. 

my first plan doodle

The truth is this wasn't suppose to be anything to keep or be of purpose but I like that it has came out of me. Since this we have had more bad news, and while I don't intent making art about my situation I can't help but wonder what will come. If it does I will let it,.