printmaking final

This year I have found tough in regards to my personal life.

At the start of this topic I found out I was pregnant, it was a shock and I didn't know what to feel. A mixture of emotions. The decision to keep or abort was something I didn't want to address and while I longed for change in my life, this change was massive. The father wasn't a close relationship and he told me he didn't or wouldn't support me through this. Frightened, alone and unsure the work I was creating became apart of me expressing my situation.

life drawing

life drawing

To abort - this is one of the hardest things I had to consider. Not only for my myself, but also for my family. Having 3 children already my time is pushed and trying to juggle time for everyone was a struggle already. The fact that I had postnatal depression with my last son made me worry that I would not cope if it happened again.  I always said that I would like another little girl, but saying and doing were to different things. Now the saying be careful what you wish for. I think if the father was indeed happy my mind would have been more settled. Instead his words were " I can't believe this happened after JUST SOME SEX" just some sex these words haunted me, how could I have been so naive about what we had!

wear a fucking condom arsehole

paper I made to print on later

Miscarried - A blessing in truth, but a very sore and hurtful one. The bleeding started and I was in a away happy because the decision to keep or abort was looking like it had been made naturally. The loss I was feeling at the same time made me sad. For the 2 weeks I'd known I was pregnant I do believe I'd created some kind of bond and protectiveness over my baby. After two scans it was confirmed that I had indeed lost the baby.

Moving on I kept working on my prints. This time I think a mix of annoyance at the way the man had used me, the way I'd been so fucking stupid to believe we had a connection in the first place and what was I feeling now came out.

I was lying in bed half asleep and I seen on my blind an image of a bull. I couldn't help this was relevant somehow to what I was feeling at the time. Its the first time I've really had a powerful encounter of this kind.

The Minotaur for me was a way of expressing my own feelings of how I felt towards the other partner and also the wish of what I wished I was or could be sometimes. Able to be cruel selfish and powerful. To destroy and take what I wanted without a care for myself or others.

Meaning of minotaur (dream)  -

A minotaur in your dream can mean you may be facing more challenges than usual and a trusted friend has no sympathy. They may even be happy at all your misfortune when you pour your heart to them. There also may be someone around you that takes great delight pointing out your mistakes and failings with never a nice word to say. Is this happening to you? This is soul destroying so you may need to weed out those who cause added negativity to your life.

The women I created from my life drawing blind drawings. I liked the strange detailed figures, ugly but somewhat welcoming. I could relate to these figures as I myself felt, ugly sad and drained.

I found myself changing lots of things and I guess I wanted to try and keep the feelings I was having. My work I feel comes from what is happening in my life. But life changes all the time and I guess its hard to keep the same pace with these things.


I wanted my final scene to be dark like the beast coming for the girls. A rape or attack of a dark side of the frustration I was feeling. To take it to another level and far away from the pregnancy stuff. but also the light coming in to protect them. to show the good and evil and the balance the two can have. 

I looked at lots of prints and printmakers.

Picasso

   

Rembrandt

 
 

Goya

 
 

Emil Nolde


  

Edvard Munch

  
 

So my composition I felt was lacking and I began to add more natural figures of the girls. I did try also with making marks into the ink and printing. I wished I had more time to consider adding trees and depth. scale of the foreground and background as well as the figures.

overall I feel I've got to a point were I've learnt more techniques about etching then I had done before.

I'm happy with the final but if I had more time I definitely think I could have done so much better. composition etc 

Various other prints I looked at

edward weston - mushroom (p)

Edward Weston

• born in  Illinois in 1886
• got his first camera when he was sixteen of his father
• first images were of his aunt farm and the parks near by
• 1906 got a job as a itinerant photographer
• began formal training in photography after realising the importance this would have on his work
• had interest and ability to use lighting and poses to bring out the best in a subject
• the term pictorialism was a style of fine art photography Weston is termed with
• Between 1927 and 1930, Weston made a series of monumental close-ups of seashells, peppers, and halved cabbages, mushrooms.

It is this series I'm interesting in.

• became on of the founding member of the Group f/64 in 1932 with Ansel Adams, Willard Van Dyke, Imogen Cunningham and Sonya Noskowiak.
• Weston became the first photographer to receive a Guggenheim Fellowship for experimental work in 1936.
• Weston began experiencing symptoms of Parkinson’s disease in 1946 and in 1948 shot his last photograph of Point Lobos.
• died in 1958 at his home and his ashes were were scattered into the Pacific Ocean at Pebbly Beach at Point Lobos.

 I think was a nice touch considering his last photograph was of Point Lobos after getting his illness.

While Edward Weston has a catalogue of images all worthy to be highlighted or looked at, his black and white still lifes are the ones I'm looking into this time around. Firstly the images of the mushrooms, are the ones I find of interest, because I myself find I'm captivated with this subject matter also. 

The up close and in depth images I feel are giving a real basic look are what for many is a uninteresting subject but also gives a true aesthetic beauty. These images highlight the texture, form and shape by using lighting, composition and background. 

Looking at the above image, I like how the gills have real detail. They look like their almost dancing.  The shadows and highlights and cropping help to create that of an interesting image.

Here are some of the photos I've changed to black and white.. while some work really well I feel that the filter from colour does take away a lot of the beauty I'd seen in the image on site.. 

zoomed in from the image below. so soft and beautiful. 

had the background been all black I think the mushroom would of been highlighted better. I find the scales on the top get lost a little in this image.

I feelif I had set out to take photographs in black and white in the first place, the images could have worked out a lot better and stronger. I didnt think about compostion, light or texture etc. I just took a snap at a subject matter I found of interest. something to consider!

My colour copies 

Sources

 http://edward-weston.com/edward-weston/
http://www.visual-arts-cork.com/photography/pictorialism.htm

Steve McCurry (P)

Just having a quick look at his website gives me the wow factor. The colour, energy and variety of his work is unrivaled. For me the work gives a human element and a sense of time and space. The portraits are so clear and the people in them stir your interest. Silent imagery yet alive as he brings different cultures together with the one thing we all have in common. Us -life-Human.

The below images fall into the eyes category as well as portrait

Theme - giving the subject a theme is something I've found works really well. It was while doing photography named Abandoned that I first came to realise this. My friends and family also felt happy to point out viewpoints and ideas of the things they seen as abandoned.

Here were some of them we took

Below McCurry titled some of his images from his travels as Sleep. They show different cultures and places and yet bring together the one subject that links them altogether. The images are beautiful, clear and silent. 

In real life McCurry wasn't afraid of conflicts, trauma and hardship 

when bigger image it really hits you on a different level.

I just love the nature of this work and the travelling he's done. A life lived. 

Sources

https://stevemccurry.com/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afghan_Girl

www.googlesearch/images/stevemccurryicons