Thinking of other artists as inspiration and because of the nature of creative process what would I like to try and take forward. I made some colour samples and played about with acrylics, oil and watercolour paints. Thinking about the timing of each and how easy the medium was to work with.
I made a collage and did a feeling diary as a collage for my diary brief. While this helped me emotionally I knew collage wasn't enough alone. I took my feelings and thought about this for some time. While out walking I do alot of my searching for my feelings. If I'm struggling mentally or need a pick up walking usually helps. I couldn't help but relate my emotions to the rotten trees and pieces of wood on the forest floor. While death and dying is still regenerating life, maybe from the soil, insects and future. I began to think this is how I felt as a mother, adult and someone who was struggling in many areas. I began thinking of my core and how different it was on the inside as to what you saw on the outside! If I saw a piece of wood I liked I took it home. Most of the pieces were rotten and this I thought had an interesting quality.
The work I was bringing together all at once. I had two or three things on the go at once and I still didn't know what direction I was headed at this point.
The creative process I do think is more about doing than planning or over-thinking. While a plan idea is a good starting point I don't think you should disregard change or be frightened of it. I noticed I wasted a lot of time thinking I wanted something that just didn't fit into the direction my work naturally headed.
I enjoyed the things that would go wrong or wouldn't turn out as I had planned. Frustration at first but I soon realised sometimes things work out for the better.
From the start of this mixed media unit I didn't envision this final and while I still do want to continue with my sheeple idea I had thought of originally, I realise the time wasn't right the now.
Ive learned that I don't have to relate or enjoy every work of art and thats its ok. Film and the work of Kerry Jones I didn't enjoy because of the eerie quality of some of the work. However, the community work she does I could relate to more. I've learned that the psychology of the work is an important factor for me. I get a kick out of learning different perspectives on life. I think this is a personal growth factor and I now feel I'm getting answers as to who or what matters to me.
My self esteem is low at the moment, I don't and didn't feel like continuing with my course for a few months. But in contemplation in all I've done with regards of these topics I do feel I've still been able to push through some of my darkness moments. I should recognise this as a quality and a strength.
My mind was everywhere through a lot of these works and I do think that it shows in my work. While its not my strongest of outcomes in terms of sketch book work, the truth and confrontation I've done has been my greatest success so far. A lesson learned in systematic thinking and one of keeping an annotated account throughout. I would now happily approach an artist about the work they do as I've found most of them are happy to talk about the process. The class talks helped me to realise the importance of engaging with others, as most of the time you can both relate in many ways about the outcome or process taken. The artist Angela Hunter made my mind settle more about me being a mature student. I felt that I was wasting my time doing something that could possibly not have anything at the end of it. Ive been financially struggling since quitting work but the outcome of my own self-worth has excelled. I guess finding a balance is the key and thinking about how it would feel not continuing long term. Would you always wonder? If so how much does it mean to you. All these factors do play I feel in your creative process and the importance you but on your work.
My two A3 developmental sheets were on wooden boards. If you look on Instagram you will see the process I went through with regards to the build up of the bark approaches. I did however find that because of the flat surface of board and the layering of cement, the pieces began to crack and break off. On my tree itself, I did leave the layers to dry out in between coats which did help the problem. Also adding sand to the mix I found helped the adhesive factor. The drying out of the cement gave a good quality to replicate the barks likeness. All these things I only found out because I did them. Without tests the outcome may have been different.
I looked at lots of artist like Anselm Kiefer and Joan Eardley but I have wrote these on another blog.
I do want to get out and see more works of art as I feel this will propel me ready for the next year in the HND. If I pass this year that is.
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