3 portfolio

The above image I chose because for the last year or two I've really tried to paint the sheep skull.. I dont feel I have ever done it to a standard I'm happy with. This image was in acrylic but I've also done studies in watercolour, oil and mixed media. I found for quickness and a more opaque finish acrylics gave me a way to test my ideas and techniques.  It's a battle I will continue to try and execute in my studies or spare time. For me, the idea of viewing death like this gives it life and I feel I get a settled understanding about death in general from viewing and connecting with the macabre. This work isn't about a pretty picture it's about the internal journey I take, considering death, life and nature. The natural acceptance of death is something I once feared but I do believe that by considering it, it makes it easier to live with.
Damien Hirst I do think was more of an inspiration with these ideas of considering death than I realised at the time. As an artist his theories also play a part in the work he creates... for me the idea behind the work is more expressive and exciting than the work itself..  many works have a viewing pleasure factor or their regarded as such. I did think once over that a real life portrait well executed was the best kind of art out there. Or a great still life, but now I consider much more than the artists detailed representation of a work.. still life also has hidden meaning of live, death etc.... another reason it's high up there in my opinion.

Hirst

Hirst

The second image was one of photography. The topic we had been given was of the theme abandoned.  For me this was a great topic because not only did it have myself looking for themes or images of abandonment but also my family.. this was the first time my family had been interested or involved in my art course. Abandonment was actually bringing us together.

While I do enjoy photography because of the way you need to think about composition, light, angle, frame etc... I like the way photography can take you to a moment or a place.. memory or of interest. Questions asked.... I do wish to be able to paint some of the images I take. For me my artists hand isn't quite there.  Self doubt for me is a driving force however. Another reason why my studies in this area are important still.  

The sculpture of the hand is the third image I thought was important to who I was becoming as an artist.. the work related to some psychology I was researching. My own mental health and the mental health awareness in general. The something solid I felt that was missing in my life but also the heavy burden I carry around.. I did intend to make sheeple with the cement and my skulls... the idea of society following the herds... not thinking for ourselves etc. All of these studies with sculpture made me really what to understand more with the human existence. The mind and the feeling of my own belonging.. while I didn't continue with this theme on any art brief I know it will appear later down the line as I only just touched the surface of this idea. I do feel it could be a strong outcome if thought throughly out... from idea to execution. Plus I need to learn more about armature etc to gain more knowledge for my best possible outcome . 

Evaluation mixed media - creative process

Firstly after reading the brief I made a mind map of my ideas. What did I know already and what if any did I connect with for the topic?

Thinking of other artists as inspiration and because of the nature of creative process what would I like to try and take forward. I made some colour samples and played about with acrylics, oil and watercolour paints. Thinking about the timing of each and how easy the medium was to work with.

I made a collage and did a feeling diary as a collage for my diary brief. While this helped me emotionally I knew collage wasn't enough alone. I took my feelings and thought about this for some time. While out walking I do alot of my searching for my feelings. If I'm struggling mentally or need a pick up walking usually helps. I couldn't help but relate my emotions to the rotten trees and pieces of wood on the forest floor. While death and dying is still regenerating life, maybe from the soil, insects and future. I began to think this is how I felt as a mother, adult and someone who was struggling in many areas.  I began thinking of my core and how different it was on the inside as to what you saw on the outside! If I saw a piece of wood I liked I took it home.  Most of the pieces were rotten and this I thought had an interesting quality.

The work I was bringing together all at once. I had two or three things on the go at once and I still didn't know what direction I was headed at this point.

The creative process I do think is more about doing than planning or over-thinking. While a plan idea is a good starting point I don't think you should disregard change or be frightened of it. I noticed I wasted a lot of time thinking I wanted something that just didn't fit into the direction my work naturally headed. 

I enjoyed the things that would go wrong or wouldn't turn out as I had planned. Frustration at first but I soon realised sometimes things work out for the better. 

From the start of this mixed media unit I didn't envision this final and while I still do want to continue with my sheeple idea I had thought of originally, I realise the time wasn't right the now. 

Ive learned that I don't have to relate or enjoy every work of art and thats its ok. Film and the work of Kerry Jones I didn't enjoy because of the eerie quality of some of the work. However, the community work she does I could relate to more.  I've learned that the psychology of the work is an important factor for me. I get a kick out of learning different perspectives on life. I think this is a personal growth factor and I now feel I'm getting answers as to who or what matters to me. 

My self esteem is low at the moment, I don't and didn't feel like continuing with my course for a few months. But in contemplation in all I've done with regards of these topics I do feel I've still been able to push through some of my darkness moments. I should recognise this as a quality and a strength. 

My mind was everywhere through a lot of these works and I do think that it shows in my work. While its not my strongest of outcomes in terms of sketch book work, the truth and confrontation I've done has been my greatest success so far. A lesson learned in systematic thinking and one of keeping an annotated account throughout. I would now happily approach an artist about the work they do as I've found most of them are happy to talk about the process. The class talks helped me to realise the importance of engaging with others, as most of the time you can both relate in many ways about the outcome or process taken. The artist Angela Hunter made my mind settle more about me being a mature student. I felt that I was wasting my time doing something that could possibly not have anything at the end of it. Ive been financially struggling since quitting work but the outcome of my own self-worth has excelled. I guess finding a balance is the key and thinking about how it would feel not continuing long term. Would you always wonder? If so how much does it mean to you. All these factors do play I feel in your creative process and the importance you but on your work. 

My two A3 developmental sheets were on wooden boards. If you look on Instagram you will see the process I went through with regards to the build up of the bark approaches. I did however find that because of the flat surface of board and the layering of cement, the pieces began to crack and break off. On my tree itself, I did leave the layers to dry out in between coats which did help the problem. Also adding sand to the mix I found helped the adhesive factor.   The drying out of the cement gave a good quality to replicate the barks likeness. All these things I only found out because I did them. Without tests the outcome may have been different. 

I looked at lots of artist like Anselm Kiefer and Joan Eardley but I have wrote these on another blog. 

I do want to get out and see more works of art as I feel this will propel me ready for the next year in the HND. If I pass this year that is. 

who am I