Waffle on a bit

Funny since doing this blog the people i read my writing to seem to laugh and think i waffle on a bit... And maybe i do.. But the path to true happiness is never easy so they say! If you dont like this so called waffling.   Then so be it but for me it a destination. Friends, family and love ones if only they read this piss would understand the inner working of me... Who really knows me.   You?? 🤔

dead wood (e)

Another part added to the dead wood picture I started.  

I'd started this with my aunt in mind after hearing that she may have cancer. Turns out she does and I like the way i'm taking my time to create these built up parts of this picture.  I think time can be a good thing to have and by only doing this when it feels right, I remind myself how lucky fragile and important time is. Standing looking at it I like the green - I think it expresses hope.. 

dead wood!

So college 2017 is coming to an end.... I've tidied up the mess and traces of last year, and now to pass the last few days I decided to wander around and look for something to do....

To have the chance to do anything I wanted, silk screen, linocuts, embroidery, still life anything I wanted....

I found these pieces of bark lying and I loved the texture and colour of nature it a true form....But what to do.... I started thinking of a collage.... maybe I could do a image of an animal or turn it into a mix of lino-cut or collagraph.... a print of some kind.......

I felt that while I didn't need to create anything I probably should give myself time to do something..... Time being somewhat of an expensive commodity to myself and even more so lately with my aunt (going through cancer fright) and 90 yr old Grandad both being in hospital,  then having the children and general life do this, need to do that or must get this/ that drama going on...todo, To do, To do............I'm glad I took the time to mess about with this bark....

Why????

Because it gave me an escape, as I looked at the dead wood and its markings, it reminded me that life leaves traces of the effect/signs of a bigger picture. The past, the now and well what will become of my work once time takes it toll on it? Who would of thought that a piece of bark could save me from the torment of thinking of the what if's. The what if's that I will no doubt have to face it the tough times ahead.

What did I see in front of me.... A landscape afterwards but....Before that a pig in the pattern of the wood, even a chickens feathers because my aunt has chickens (actual now one chicken cos the other 3 died, two in the space of a week!) Funny how you see things that you want to connect with in times of need.....a chicken picture to give to my aunt in her time of need,,, woopy do or whatever!!! like any of it would matter! But easier than telling her my fears and heart-felt emotion of how much she means to me and the fact that if the worst does come how hurt I'd be or how much I'd try and be there for her daughters.our family!!    My family. The truth is that once somebody dies, while their gone they never leave us, because memories live on inside us and that is the beautiful thing, we all have our own memories and moments of a person that carries on. It does effect us don't get me wrong but that it a beautiful truth in itself cos it means that it was real, the good, the bad and the ugly! ...Like our own take on what is a great artist, or how the monet made me want to cry upon viewing it at a gallery! (and remembering that feeling of emotion that I tried to hold back for fear of looking stupid crying at a painting, while still to this day thinking of that emotion could still bring tears of that lost moment I remembered and felt. even now as I write this guff)..

.a wolf too, which for whatever reason I thought would be fun to mess about with until true inspiration finally like a apparition or manifestation materialized itself!      hahahahah........but a landscape yes lets go there!

in the voice of David Attenborough , and here with have the wolf....with somewhat of a half  hind leg! ... come on..Better that than Rolf  Harris's can you tell what it is yet!!! what with the press he's had lately!

adding pieces and stuff

trying pieces of bark together

starting to take a shape but nothing like what I needed.... bottom bit was moved but didn't take a photo of updated version!

Trouble is I've ran out of bark........ Well as they say when your time is up its up!

But in my case I've started to collect bark from other sources! other students and my own photograph bark/wood work.... That I actually started sawing into myself, cutting up into pieces at a last ditch attempt of hope!     like the fight of life..I know the end is not near and I will continue to find ways to match the struggles as I have this landscape in the hope of something more solid that I can be proud of and hold onto.... .....while its not as important this work we can live in the everyday and what may be unimportant or unappreciated to many can mean everything to someone else .........its maybe all you need for the next.......

well take what you will..
Which i should state this work it not over yet for me